my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
