is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
