I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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