dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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