Girls should come with a carfax report
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
