i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
