3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
