they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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