took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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