Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize