It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
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