There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
