It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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