he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
