yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
