Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
