his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
