Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
