O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
