Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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