One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need water and some morals
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
