I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
