Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
