Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
