kristin has been a bad kristin
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
3pm strippers are depressing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
