Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
