If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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