I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
