so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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