thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
