were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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