he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
