If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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