He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
