He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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