But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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