I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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