her vagine was all disorganized.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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