i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I understand Curling. That high.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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