he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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