3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
