i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
