jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
