Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You ruined the universe
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize