doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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