I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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