dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
