i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
