i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
