we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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