You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
