Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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