I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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