Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We need to get me chipped asap
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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