I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
