we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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