Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....