the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
