I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me