apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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