Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.