Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
