i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
