Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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