Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
