The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
