i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
