So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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