well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
