If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
