Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
