wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
