the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
